


Overheard

by Ellstra



Series: Until the end of the line [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Pursuit, Rememberance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 21:04:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1662356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellstra/pseuds/Ellstra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Winter Soldier is silent like death. Except that one time when he was caught.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Overheard

**Author's Note:**

> Until the end of the line is a series about Steve/Bucky relationship. The names of the stories are taken from names of chapters of the Host novel.

The Winter Soldier kept moving. He was fully aware of Captain America following him – it was so obvious he didn’t have to be a former agent of HYDRA to see it. He didn’t try to escape though; he was doing predictable moves he would never even think of if he really wanted to flee. He thought he was being smart but the truth was that Steve was giving him some time. It was not difficult to understand that a man of the Soldier’s qualities wouldn’t act so recklessly if he didn’t wish to be pursued.  
Steve didn’t know if the object of his interest did it on purpose or sub-consciously but he didn’t really care and he didn’t try to hide. They were both trying to outsmart each other and neither succeeded.  


What Steve didn’t know about were the Winter Soldier’s visits to his sleeping places. The former assassin could not understand how a former soldier could sleep so tight. He wasn’t complaining as soon as he understood that no matter how hard he’d try, he’d never fool his body when it came to its need for sleep. He hated sleeping because it always left him more exhausted than before. When he wasn’t alone in his sleep, it got better from time to time. Even though he was glad for every memory he gained, he didn’t want to pay such a high price for them.  


And nightmares were a very high price. Flashbacks from the war, from the fall, from the time when he was lying in the freezing snow with unresponsive left arm shattered into a mess of blood, muscle and shards of bones. Flashbacks from the time when HYDRA was mending his body, from the long hours of torture, hunger, pain, brainwashing and other dreadful things. Flashbacks from attacks of sexual nature that were by far the worst.  


He never dreamt of anything nice or pleasant and that made him feel sad and angry. He had knowledge of almost every bad thing that happened to him but absolutely nothing worth remembering. Memories of the time before the war came scarcely if they even came and he had just as little information about the times of war when he wasn’t under attack, frightened or wounded. He knew there must have been better times in his life. If he kept surviving, day after day, there must have been something worth living for. He had a distant feeling that it had something to do with Captain America. He didn’t know why, but it seemed the good things kept avoiding him. He didn’t know what he had done to deserve that – or maybe he did but still, he must have done some good as well.  


When he found out that the person whose presence he felt from time to time, whose eyes were on him, was nobody but Captain America, he couldn’t stop himself from seeking the man out. He was drawn to the man by some unknown, greater force and he was doing a poor job resisting it.  


Sneaking into Captain America’s hotel rooms was so easy the Soldier almost suspected something was wrong. But once he was inside he didn’t give it a single thought because he felt safe. He watched the sleeping man for some time before he lay down on the floor beside the bed and soon he was too tired to stay awake. Nevertheless he’d always wake up sooner than Captain America and disappear before he could be spotted. Since that moment he though, he was having nice dreams as well. Not every night and the bad ones still came more often but he could finally understand what it was like to sleep peacefully.  


When he was on his own, hiding in big cities or wilderness, he felt lonely and the part of his brain that was James Buchanan Barnes screamed in frustration when the side of his being that was still dominant – the Winter Soldier – rejected to give in to both what they both needed – body and soul. But when he was tired, all courage and conviction had to go away because he knew that only if he was in the same room as Captain America he could hope for a sound sleep.  


That one particular evening was just like the others. He tracked down the hotel the Captain stayed in, hid inside to see which room and then he fled and watched the windows to see when the lights were turned off. Then he climbed the wall up – he noticed that Captain America always slept in lower parts of the houses he chose to spend nights in. Was he trying to make it easier for his pursuer to track him down?  


As true self-confident men, they were both convinced the other didn’t see their strategy.  


Winter Soldier opened the window easily – Captain America always left it unlocked – and hopped inside silently. He walked towards the sleeping man in the bed, he made sure the Captain was not awake and he wandered into the bathroom because he felt thirsty. He looked at himself in the mirror and compared what he saw with the picture of James Buchanan Barnes he had observed in the Smithsonian.  


He was thinner – it was visible in his hollow cheeks as well as on other parts of his body if he bothered himself with inspecting it. He had known he had longer hair but he could not decide if he liked it that way or not. And there was beard on his cheeks, chin and the sides of his face. When he considered it, he thought James Buchanan Barnes would not like it and the part of his mind responding to that name nodded in agreement.  


He hoped that getting rid of it might make him feel more like James Buchanan Barnes – and he wanted to feel like that – but he didn’t know how to do it. So he looked at himself, washed his hands and face, ran his fingers through his hair and turned around to go into the bigger room where the Captain slept. Despite the cold water that still sparkled on his face, he felt exhausted and his eyes kept closing independently on his will. He turned the lights off and stumbled into the room – hoping it shouldn’t be one of those that had basically no space on the floor and he had to sleep half under the bed.  


It was not and he walked almost to the window so he would be close to his way of escape. He was almost there, when his knee hit some stool. He yelped in pain as he lost balance and he fell to the ground. His metal arm made so much noise he knew would wake absolutely anybody and yet it seemed Captain was not awake. Winter Soldier stayed on the ground because he assumed that in the improbable case the man hadn’t waken up, he was still sleeping less soundly and may be awaken by the Soldier’s additional movements.  


As he watched the presumably sleeping man, he however realised the Captain’s breathing pattern had changed. The Soldier understood it just a second later – Captain America pretended he was asleep for some reason. He couldn’t decide what to do – should he leave the room? Or lie down as he intended to? Tell the other man he knew he wasn’t sleeping?  


Steve opened his eyes quickly as he heard the noise but seeing Bucky’s figure he shut them again. He was dying to speak to his friend but he was giving him some time to calm down and stop being as alert as he certainly was. He wanted to avoid being attacked by his friend and having to fight him. It seemed to him it was enough time for Bucky to flee if he’d want to so he moved slowly and carefully.  


Winter Soldier stared in fear as Captain America pulled himself up on his elbows. Out of habit, the Soldier began calculating his options should the other man strike first. He changed his position into a more favourable one and peered into the dark to see the Captain’s eyes and guess what his intentions were. He hoped he’d be able to convince the latter this was the first time he was in the same room because as he thought about it, it seemed to him very queer and creepy to stalk somebody like that even if this somebody was following you on run and used to be your best friend.  


Steve was happy Bucky didn’t attempt to kill him when he started moving – he thought it was a good sign. As he leant on his elbow, he realised he had no idea what to do next. So he did the first thing that came to his mind.  


“Hey, Buck,” he greeted the former assassin sheepishly. The Soldier knows he was addressed; the fragment of him that is James Buchanan Barnes wanted to respond but the Winter Soldier was too perplexed to do anything. He kept staring and gaping as he attempted to guess what was on the Captain’s mind.  


“Do you need something?” Steve asked. He didn’t want to move in fear he might startle Bucky.  


“I-“ _Yes!_ The Soldier swallowed hard. _You!_  


“It’s alright, just tell me.” Steve encouraged him and dared to sit up. Then he realised it might have looked like he was trying to gain advantage by sitting higher and he left the bed, kneeling down beside Bucky.  


“Are you mad at me?” The Soldier asked with worry in his eyes. He remembered what it was like to make somebody mad at him and be punished for that. He hoped the Captain was not mad at him too much because he didn’t want to feel pain.  


“Of course not, Bucky,” Steve assured his friend. He extended his hand towards the latter but he withdrew it again, because he didn’t know if Bucky would like to be touched.  


The Soldier noticed the gesture and he was hurt by it. It must have appeared in his expression as he saw the Captain’s hand reaching towards him again.  


“Are you okay with me touching you?” Steve asked. Bucky nodded, yearning for the touch more than he thought was possible. He was frightened of physical contact for so long because it always meant pain or humiliation that he forgot what it was like to want to be touched.  


Steve bridged the distance between them, took Bucky’s hand into his and squeezed it slightly. They stared at each other before many things happened at once.  


Winter Soldier’s brain must have been malfunctioning because he did something completely mad. He let go of Captain America’s hand and in a swift movement pulled the other man into a tight embrace as if his whole life depended on it.  


Steve was completely awestruck by Bucky’s movements and he thought he might have made the greatest mistake of his life when he exposed himself so much to a former assassin who was supposed to kill him. What if he really wasn’t Bucky and came to kill him? But Bucky was squishing him in a bone-breaking hug and clung to him as if letting go meant doom. Steve wrapped his arms around his friend firmly and smiled slightly.  


They sat like that in silence for a long time before the Soldier finally pulled away. He looked into Captain America’s eyes deeply before asking: “May I sleep here?”  


Steve smiled even wider as he realised it was not just a dream when he thought Bucky had been sleeping in his room. He thought he just wanted it so much he convinced himself it was true, but Bucky’s expression told him the Soldier knew what he was asking.  


“Of course. But under two conditions,” he replied and laughed as he saw a grumpy expression on his friend’s face. “First , you’ll take a shower and change into clean clothes.”  


The Soldier thought it over and he realised he didn’t know what doing either meant.  


“And second – you’re not allowed to sleep on the floor. You’ll sleep in the bed with me; it’s too big for one person anyway.”Steve added, “Agreed?”  


The Soldier understood this requirement perfectly. There was a thrilling sensation in his body when he thought about sharing the bed with Captain America and James Buchanan Barnes within him was over the moon.  


“Agreed,” he mimicked the expression on the other man’s face and he noticed how the Captain – Steve – lit up as he saw it.


End file.
